UNSTUCK
A Men’s Grief Group That Doesn’t Suck
Navigating Loss & Transitions
8 Week - Grief Group Coaching Course
Grief - it’s an invitation you never wanted to receive, ever. So, if you’ve arrived here, I am so very sorry for the loss that brought you here. I am also glad you found this community, we’re here to support you and help you.
In this 8-week online men’s grief group coaching program you will find support and connection, define your best coping style, discover meaning in loss, and create a future vision.
Why did you create a Grief Group Just For Men?
We live in a culture that has not quite normalized men expressing their emotions, especially the more tender and vulnerable ones like grief. I’ve seen and supported many men in my life who were never really encouraged or given permission (or gave themselves permission) to connect with their feelings. MCK, fellow coach and facilitator of this program is one of those men. He benefited from exploring his grief with me and experienced a powerful transformation. That’s why together we’ve co-designed and co-created this program for men.
Your emotions are not a burden. They are data that tell a story. This is your opportunity to start your healing process by sharing your story and learning from other people’s experiences. There is so much power in community and having our grief witnessed. This program is here for you as a sacred sanctuary for you to witness and be witnessed. We are not here to “fix” one another’s pain, to “solve” one another’s uncertainty, but rather, we will hold space, listen, learn, grow, and encourage one another. Grief needs to be witnessed. Connection helps us heal. We find ourselves in each other’s stories. In our connections with others, we can often find a path forward. It's important to know that we are not alone. And to keep moving, one step at a time.
The only way out of the storm is through. It is important to find ways to process your grief – in ways that are healthy and meaningful to you. There is an enormous amount of wisdom to be gleaned from our wounds. When we face our wounds and allow ourselves to grieve, and we also begin the process of healing.
Grief is the normal and natural reaction to loss. Even though it’s natural, encounters with loss and the ensuing distress can send shockwaves throughout every area of our lives. Grief is a complicated constellation of emotions. Sorrow, shock, despair, rage, resentment, relief, guilt, anxiousness, distress, and anxiety are just a few of the emotions you might feel.
And yes, you might feel them all at once.
You might feel like you’re trying to just avoid drowning while seeing anger and denial hurling towards you on the horizon. When you’re grieving it can be so disorienting, devastating, and leave you desperately seeking a remedy for the pain.
Support that Makes A Difference
A group experience can be a powerful and valuable venue for healing and growth.
The word “bereavement" is derived from the word “robbed.” When your loved one has died or you're facing a big loss, it feels like you've been robbed. The world you once knew is gone forever.
No matter who, what, or how you grieve, studies show healing involves your grief being witnessed. That doesn't mean needing someone to try to lessen it or reframe it for them. The need is for someone to be fully present to the magnitude of their loss without trying to point out the silver lining.
Benefits of Grief Group Coaching
The 8-Week Coaching Curriculum
Designed to help you get UNSTUCK & move forward with MORE LOVE THAN PAIN.
Week 1: Uncertainty – Why Is It So Threatening? This week we will address what ambiguous loss is and why uncertainty can feel so threatening. Your stories matter- your experiences matter. You will learn to unpack these stories so you can work with them, rather than be silenced or overwhelmed by them.
Week 2: Permission to Grieve – The Journey Inward Life has changed, now what? Now you grieve so you can grow. Grief is not only reserved for loss due to death; it is a process that comes with any form of loss and change. This week we will tune into what you have lost and the role and experience of grief. You will learn how to grant yourself permission to stand in this grief, gain tools to move through this space, and learn how to be okay being uncomfortable. We will explore the myth of closure and how chasing answers can lead to more disappointment and stuckness. We will redefine how we find closure and certainty within ourselves.
Week 3: Whose Story Are We Living? Exploring Your Story This week we will explore how external systems play a role in how we envision our lives to be, how we define happiness and success, how we define failure and setbacks. Asking the question: Whose story are we living out? How much of these expectations have come from family, society, culture? Family stories, legacy, imposter syndrome, living up to someone else’s standard all play major roles in how we show up to, process and understand, and cope with ambiguous loss and uncertainty during life transitions. Learning how to differentiate between my story and someone else’s will empower you to be an active participant in crafting a life that aligns with your needs and honors those needs.
Week 4: The F word – Feelings! Leaning in With Courage & Power Because ambiguous loss involves so much uncertainty, there is often a lack of acknowledgement. This can lead to shame, guilt, and fear which so often leads to suffering in silence. This week, we will explore the power of connecting to your emotions both mind and body. Exploring concepts of emotional agility and emotional regulation. Through this work you will find freedom in accessing the whole of your emotional experience. Emotions and feelings are information; it is telling you something and we need to listen so we can show up to our lives, especially during times of pain, change, loss, and hardship.
Week 5: Vulnerability, Resilience, & Self-Compassion: Seeds for Growth Vulnerability, resilience, and self-compassion are crucial in the journey of making meaning through ambiguous loss and life transition. In this week we will define these concepts. Learn how to step into your vulnerability, to increase connection and decrease isolation. Gain tools to strengthen resilience and face change and transition with inner strength. Cultivating self-compassion is crucial for self-care when experiencing the often overwhelming stress, loneliness, and uncertainty of change and loss. Cultivating this space is hard and necessary work to be open for the possibility of what comes next.
Week 6: Embracing Paradox & Duality: Grief & Joy CAN Coexist We often live under the myth that healing can only come through certainty, that the problem has a solution for you to fine, and that it’s a linear process. The reality is that so much of our healing from loss/change relies on our ability to exist in the uncertainty; to live in the space of the unknown and develop a tolerance for things that are seemingly oppositional but exist simultaneously. This week we will address the confusing and frustrating experience of living within conflicting feelings, thoughts, and emotions. We will address ambivalence, normalize its existence, and discuss how to build tolerance for paradox and ambivalence. We will learn to create space for the both/and instead of the tempting either/or in our personal experience.
Week 7: Hello, My Name Is ________. Reclaiming the Future & Reacquainting Yourself With You In the wake of loss, change, and uncertainty we can lose sight of who we are. Fearful and unsure of who we can be following change or loss. This week we will define and connect to core values and develop a strong sense of self. You will form deeper connections to what values lead you to fulfillment and contentment in your life. Understanding what you have let go and what you may have gained, the authentic guiding principles for self, and the core values you hold will allow you to feel empowered and aligned as you step into life after loss. Coping .
Week 8: Finding Meaning & Hope Integrating all the components from each week, this week is about the importance of making meaning through ambiguous loss, transition, or change. You will learn to cultivate hope; hold space for both the pain of loss and be open to things you may gain. Understanding that with crisis and conflict comes opportunity for growth, connection, and the ability to feel empowered to find hope and create meaning through your pain.
Frequently Asked Questions
All The Details!
Q: Who is this group for? This online 8-week group experience is for men struggling with grief, uncertainty, loss, or coping with a life transition. Pain can also be so overwhelming that we make choices to survive the present that might harm the future we want. In this course you will have the space and tools to examine if your choices are moving you through the pain and grief or keeping you stuck. Loss challenges our sense of normalcy, can makes us feel disconnected, and confused. Your familiar methods of coping may not be working, leaving you in a state of overwhelm and discomfort. At some point in our lives, each of us face forms of loss, change (not always welcome), and transition. These losses and life transitions can lead to overwhelming uncertainty and are difficult to know how to cope with. This is your space to transform fear and pain into power. Pain can be a powerful catalyst for transformation if you allow it. Here you do not need to hide or minimize your grief – come as you are, wherever you are on your grief journey. In this space you will connect with others who get it and are doing the hard and meaningful work to heal.
Q: What made you create a grief group just for men? We live in a culture that has not quite normalized men expressing their emotions, especially the more tender vulnerable ones like grief. I’ve seen and supported many men in my life who were never really encouraged or given permission (or gave themselves permission) to connect with their feelings. MCK, fellow coach and facilitator of this program is one of those men. He benefited from exploring his grief with me and experienced a powerful transformation. That’s why together we’ve co-designed and co-created this program for men. Your emotions are not a burden. They are data that tell a story. This is your opportunity to start your healing process by sharing your story and learning from other people’s experiences There is so much power in community and having our grief witnessed. This program is here for you as a sacred sanctuary for you to witness and be witnessed. We are not here to “fix” one another’s pain, to “solve” one another’s uncertainty, but rather, we will hold space, listen, learn, grow, and encourage one another. Grief needs to be witnessed. Connection helps us heal. We find ourselves in each other’s stories. In our connections with others, we can often find a path forward. It's important to know that we are not alone. And to keep moving, one step at a time. Within a safe, supportive, nonjudgmental, and encouraging community instead of just being consumed by the grief, you will learn how to live in the present and begin to consider what a future you love could look like.
Q: What’s this grief group coaching program about? What will take place? This online 8-week group was designed to give you a sacred place to grieve and heal. I will hold space for you and along with your peers, we will bear witness. It is a safe environment for you to process your grief alongside others who can relate. You will learn and understand why you feel the way you do as well as recognize the value of openly feeling your feelings and processing your loss, learning to flow with instead of fighting your emotions. Often, when trying to express or share our sorrow, others will try to problem solve, offer a silver lining, or provide a platitude. While the intention can be from the right space, that approach rarely meets the grievers need. Here you can sit with your sorrow without judgement and grieve at your own pace. Here you can pause, reflect, and be fully heard and seen. I am here as a guide to support, nurture, and encourage you. Together, we will navigate the difficult time you are facing and the rocky terrain of grief. You will have my compassionate and empathetic ear as well as those who are in the course.
Q: Where & how do we meet? Where: Hosted on Zoom! Be sure you are signed up with a zoom account and have the app downloaded on the device you’ll be using. Dates: First class is Thursday May 25th and the last class is on July 20th Time: 5pm PST/8pm EST for 90 minutes.
Q: What is included? This is an intimate group setting (12 people max) where you will learn how to be with your grief in a way that expands, not limits your horizons; to remember with more love than pain. We will explore outlets to process your loss, how to ask for help, and build boundaries for those who are not able to support you. With compassion, courage, and curiosity, we will begin to create a vision for your future that you will be excited to move towards. -10 Coaching Sessions: --8 group coaching sessions – every week we will meet together. --2 individual 1 hour coaching sessions (one at the start of the program and one at the end) with Alexandra -Each week you will receive a set of reflection questions and a grief hand-out that correlates to the topic of the week. --This hand-out will provide educational resources on grief to help you familiarize yourself with the landscape & language on grief. -Each session will start with a brief meditation to help you drop into your heart space. -Each week you will have the chance to practice a Bounce Conversation -Each week we will explore different healing skills that you can continue to practice on your own (breathwork, gentle grief yoga moves, mindfulness, etc)
Q: What is the cost? Total investment is $800. This works out to $100 per weekly session. I have added 2 individual coaching sessions ($400 value) as a bonus.
Q: Is grief just for death? No. Contrary to popular belief, grief is not reserved for death only – it accompanies any form of loss. Grief is a natural response to anything or anyone that is taken from us. From a physical death to a loss of a relationship, loss of a dream, loss of health (diagnosis of an illness), divorce, infertility, loss of normalcy, loss of job, moving or relocating, loss of financial stability, loss of safety or security, loss of identity, or becoming caretaker for a family member. These are just a few examples. Grief encompasses all the aspects of loss that one might face (there are more than 40 types of loss that can trigger grief)…the common denominator among all types of grief is loss.
Q: Why are you a grief coach? I felt called to create a safe space for others to land while navigating their loss. I struggled to find the support I needed when facing a big loss many years ago. I didn’t want others to have that same struggle. I tried for a long time to out run, out smart, out everything my grief. I was desperate to get as far away as possible from all of those emotions. This was one party I wanted no part in - not even a little bit. It took me a long time (I cannot emphasize long enough here) to finally comprehend, I wasn't failing. There was no secret elixir that would help me out wit my grief. Fantasize as I might about finding an exit from this dark party, it was just that; a fantasy. With grief, there is no back door or secret exit. The only way out is through. You probably want to leave my page right now. I understand (especially if you came here in hopes of finding that secret elixir I too was once so desperate to discover). But I promise there is some good news. You do not have to do this alone. It is possible not only to survive but to thrive again. I believe you can learn tools & skills that will empower you. These methods will better equip you to survive difficult times that might not feel so survivable, especially when you're in deep. I will partner with you and compassionately guide you. I am here as a non-judgmental and empathetic listener to support, encourage, equip, and empower you.
Q: Why does grief feel so lonely? Studies show that even for those with strong networks, experiencing grief can be incredibly isolating. There are many reasons for this. Sometimes it can be hard to express ourselves and when we finally do find the words, we discover that the person we’re confiding in isn’t capable of holding space or doesn’t want to hear it. Enter useless platitude that is blurted out before the conversation gets shut down. Sometimes those friends we love the most stop reaching out or calling because they feel uncomfortable and have no idea what to say. Or maybe you don’t feel like the people around you are tolerant of your grief any longer – you get the feeling they think should be over it by now. Maybe you waved the white flag and decided you’re going to completely unplug because you’re exhausted from making everyone else feel better about the death (or loss) you’re facing.
What Are the Benefits of Grief Group Coaching
Community & Connection: Grief can be isolating. It’s important to know you are not alone and you don’t have to grieve alone. You will have someone by your side who can light the path through the darkness of grief. In this program you will also meet with a supportive community. In this safe space, you will connect with others who have also experienced loss. You can unapologetically share your story, have your grief witnessed, as well as give and receive encouragement.
Understanding, Tools, & Empowerment: We will learn together. I will share educational materials about Grief that will help lead you through the phases of grief. You will understand where you are in the process and be empowered to take appropriate steps from where you are towards finding peace and healing. I will give you writing exercises and simple body movements that can help you process your grief. You will learn skills and techniques to better manage the emotional stress that often accompanies grief. We will also learn from each other.
Compassion & Empathy: We will explore mindfulness and self-compassion. I will help you lean in with curiosity so you can discover your needs. This process is based on mindfulness and involves cultivating self-compassion - this a driving force in how you will learn take care of yourself during this difficult time. Investment by both your facilitator and members will produce a consistent group experience that is meaningful. We will navigate the rocky terrain of grief together as a team, you will feel the empathy and support. I am here as a guide to support, nurture, and encourage you. Within the community you will find an abundance of love and compassion.
Platitude Free Zone: Often, when trying to express or share our sorrow, others will try to problem solve, offer a silver lining, or provide a platitude. While the intention can be from the right space, that approach rarely meets the grievers need. You will not find any of that here. This is a judgement free zone. You can sit with your sorrow without judgement and grieve at your own pace. Here you can pause, reflect, and be fully heard and seen.
A Sanctuary: This is a safe environment where you will feel respected and valued as you do the meaningful work of processing grief and moving towards healing. This is not a place where you have to hide or minimize your pain for the comfort of others – you are free to explore your grief here which will enable you to show up authentically and connect more deeply to yourself. This is your sanctuary. Your sacred place to grieve and heal.
